Goodbye, Rose Tyler
by alloftimenspace
Summary: On the beach that was ever so familiar stood a man with two hearts. He stared into the horizon reminiscing a past that was long gone, a kiss that was never shared and a goodbye that was never said. A heart longing to for a face that one of his face first saw...


**Disclaimer : I don't own Docto Who, BBC does.**

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He stood on the beach, taking the view in. It had been a long time since he was last there – a very long time indeed. Though, he wasn't sure for how long. But, the view was just as breathtaking as the day he left her there, the day he left her there with the other him. He wondered, since that day – what had become of her. Was she happy? Did she live well? Was still Rose Tyler, defender of Earth? There were so many questions and none of them of which he could answer.

He could have come back. Oh, a thousand years or so ago after he had found his people. But, he didn't. He wasn't sure why – maybe he was just afraid. Part of him wondered if he had shown up again and asked her to run away with him again, would she? Would she still be this pink and yellow human that stood by him? Her nineteen year old self would have done so in a heartbeat. He still remembered the first time he took her hand and in that moment he told her to run. It was the first in a very long time that he had any human contact. Back then he had resigned to continue his journey alone. Yet, there she was – bright and beautiful, his Rose and she ran with him.

Oh, they did run. To the beginning and end of times and she her laugh was infectious. She made him better. She made him love living and laugh again. She was every bit kind and every bit intelligent even if she would sell herself short more than often.

He would hate to say it, but, he missed her. He missed running, laughing and talking with her.

"Doctor?" A voice woke him up from his thoughts of Rose and time long passed. He turned slightly and his eyes landed on a woman. No older than nineteen.

He froze; it was as if he had seen a ghost. Reasons told him that it was impossible and it could never be. And as much as he hated to listen to reason, he knew that this time he had to because the letdown of hope would crush him.

"The Doctor, that's me," He said quickly, shaking off his shock, looking at her tentatively while telling his heart to settle itself.

There, in front of him, by all miracles she stood ever so beautiful; his Rose. No, it can't be; she was not, but, she looked like his Rose.

"Gramdmere said you'd be here," The girl said with a toothy grin. Just like his Rose.

"I'm sorry, you are?" He said, not wanting to allow himself to believe even for a second that the girl stood before him was Rose.

"I'm sorry," She apologized, "I'm Rose, I mean, Rosie Tyler,"

"Rose?" He repeated the name; it rolled of his tongue easily as if he had never stopped saying it.

"Yes, I was named after my great-grandmother," Her stare was kind and her tone was soft. Exactly like her, but not her.

"Your great-grandmother?" The Doctor asked, as his thoughts caught up with him, though his head came to a conclusion, he daren't believe it. "Rose Tyler?"

A nod, a simple confirmation and the word came, "Yes,"

"No…" He shook his head, a lifetime, a lifetime had gone and passed as he ran.

"You still remember her," The girl named Rose smiled and The Doctor couldn't quite catch his breath. Already reading him like an open book. She was a Tyler alright.

"I never forget," He said, barely a whisper.

"She said that too," She stated in a matter of fact tone, but, not unkind – never unkind.

And he couldn't stop himself; he had to know, "Is she?" But of course, words failed him though that didn't matter.

She understood him.

"No, Grandmere passed away five years ago, I was fourteen,"

"Oh," He wasn't sure what he was expecting or whether he was expecting anything at all.

Was he expecting her to still be alive? Human life, they are so fleeting and too short for a Time Lord like him. Had he want to see her one last time? Before even his life was to end? He did, once – just once to see her smile at him. Just one, just maybe he'd find comfort in her eyes.

"But she told me a lot of stories about you, her Doctor she said,"

"She did?"

"Yes, quite often, she never forgot a day she had spent on the TARDIS,"

A smile, that was all he could manage. "I should have come sooner,"

"That's alright; she didn't hold out hope to see you again. All she wanted was to know that you were happy,"

Words failed him.

"Doctor, were you happy?"

He turned, throwing his gaze at the rocks, not knowing how to answer that question. At the end of his life, this final regeneration of his… He was not sure, still, if he had ever been truly happy. Maybe when there was Rose, or when Martha was around or when his best friend; Donna… Amy, Rory… River… He was not sure. Faces muddled over the years but he never forgot Rose's smile, Martha's care, Donna's friendship and Rory, Amy and River who gave him a family. Oh, Clara – His impossible girl, he had not forgotten her either.

"Doctor," Rosie called. "She was happy; she lived to a hundred and was very happy,"

The Doctor nodded, fighting the urge to cry, a battle he was slowly loosing.

"She had children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was well loved when she was alive and well missed when she was gone, she lived Doctor,"

He daren't look back to the girl that held the feature of his Rose. He could see her in that face and God, he wished he could begin all over again.

"Your great-grandfather… Is he?" He began to ask. He didn't know when he left his meta-crisis on the beach with Rose whether the other him would live a long life. He didn't even dare to think that Rose had chosen to continue life with his meta-crisis. Perhaps, just maybe, she had met a better man.

"Gappy died in his sleep, a week after Grandmere left, mother said he had gone to see his Rose,"

Again, a nod. The Doctor wasn't sure what he could say. So many questions and yet he couldn't even bring himself to ask any of them. He kept his words limited, letting Rose – no, Rosie did all the talking and that she did. He listened.

"He'd like you to know he lived well too, he became a Doctor – well, a proper one."

So, it was his meta-crisis that Rose spent her life with after all. Who else would know of him but the meta-crisis? Very few of the people in the parallel world ever knew about him. And even if they had known him – they probably would never learn of his meta-crisis self. He had at least hoped that Rose with the help of Pete would have somehow got his meta-crisis sorted into the world without too much trouble.

"Worked until he was in his eighties before he quit to spend more time with Grandmere," Rosie explained, she was calm – she knew the reason why she had been going there, standing on the beach for the past year. Every Saturdays, without failing even once. She had to deliver the message and she knew it had to be her. She was the spitting image of her great-grandmother. She was the face he would know. And she knew she had to do her great-grandmother one last favour. Tell her Doctor, tell her she was happy.

She didn't understand that kind of love when she was a child, she doubted she ever will. But, in a way she knew that her great-grandmother; Rose Tyler had never stopped loving the Doctor in her own way. Even when she had loved her Gappy well and no one could deny they were in love. Her Gappy on the other hand, who he was, had been a family secret for generation. They all knew who he was – where he had come from and in some ways, Rosie had always felt glad that he existed because everyone was happier with him around.

He might have could have been spectacular, he could have saved the world and he could have travelled the stars. But, he stood by her Grandmere side becoming an ordinary man with an ordinary job though those who knew him doubted he was ever going to be ordinary. He wasn't a madman with a box, he was not a time-travelling Time Lord, he was just a man and he lived proud of that and that, she had to tell the Doctor too.

"And he would like to tell you, he chose the name John Smith, it was common, but – it was a name that felt like his," She added, thinking that once the man that stood in front of her had shared the face of her grandfather; the extraordinary man that lived, once he was the same man as The Doctor.

"Of course," The Doctor nodded. John Smith, a name he used often when he had the need to get close to humans without them knowing who he was. He thought back of the time when he was a human; when he was John Smith – the life of which he had seen through the pocket watch. At least one John Smith got that life, even if it wasn't him.

"Doctor, they were very happy and very thankful at you, they wanted you to know that," Rose edge closer, placing her hand onto the Doctor's back as the Time Lord continue to stare forward into still objects and not her.

She should be offended, but, she wasn't. She might have not known love as well as his great-grandparents, grandparents or parents, but – she knew enough to know it must have been hard for him to look at her without thinking back to her great-grandmother.

"They saw the world, live a life full of adventure, raise their kids, played with their grandchildren and loved their great-grandchildren." She said softly as she continued to tell the tale she came to tell.

"They've laughed and cry and they have missed you – but, they had never missed a thing in life. Grandmere always said, travelling with you made her better, if she did not meet you back when she was nineteen, she would not have had the life she had or experience the joy like no other." She added, remembering how happy her Grandmere had been all her life. She was a strong woman with wonderful stories to tell.

And the Doctor remained as he allowed the words sink in and imagine the life Rose Tyler must've had. How many smiles she must have had on her face and how much laughter had she shared with the world. If he could, he would have wanted to be part of that life. A life with Rose Tyler, how can he not wish even for a little bit even if he continuously denied himself of it?

"Her life, she was grateful for she wouldn't trade it for the world. She was loved, she was blessed. She was happy,"

Happy. She was happy. And those were the words that were enough for him to know.

"She was happy, Rose Tyler was happy…" He said, sad, but content now. His Rose, his beautiful timeless Rose will always remain in his heart. He won't go to see her grave because that was not where she was. She was in his memory, in the wind and in the songs sang in the stars. Rose Tyler, defender of the earth, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. She had lived through adventures he can never have.

"Very much so," Rosie confirmed. "As she would say it, 'very much so, my Doctor',"

A tear fell down his cheek and he allowed it without hastily rubbing it away as if it was sinful. He let himself smile and stare up the sky. Rose Tyler was happy and that was all he needed to know.

"Do you want to come with me?" He turned facing the girl after a moment. He saw traces of Rose, but, this Rose was different.

He didn't know why he asked her, surely she had a life of hers she wanted to live and she was not his Rose. But, the question was out anyway and he stood awaiting her answer.

A smile formed on her lips, a very soft and very sweet kind of smile; the kind that was used to be exclusively Rose's.

"No, I'd love too, Doctor, but, no… I have a life here, school, kissing," She said with a laugh.

"Quite right," He nodded with a lopsided grin.

He didn't press it and he knew that he wouldn't come back and ask her for a second time like he did asked Rose thousands of years ago, thousands of years ago for him.

"Here," Rose handed him a small box-shaped item. "I know people have gone digital these days, but, Grandmere sometimes still like to keep proper printed stuffs,"

He chuckled and reached for the item and it was when he had it in his hand he realize what it was, an album a very thick and full album.

He read the cover silently; "Our lives,"

And then he flipped open the cover and the first picture greeted him. It was Rose and his meta-crisis – no, John Smith. They were holding hands, laughing. He flipped another page, it was another picture of them, this time somewhere in Barcelona (the place, not a planet), another of them in Paris and he kept flipping the pages, drinking in the life of which was lived happily, until his hand stopped to rest on a page; it was a wedding picture.

His heart fluttered and sank all at once. Rose, she looked lovely in a white dress. Beside her John was beaming. The face he used to wear looked so happy. He looked through more pictures of the wedding with people laughing – Jackie crying tears of joy, Tony pulling on his mother's skirt and Pete laughing… They lived well.

And then it turned to the picture of her pregnant, her looking tired but happy. Rose's and John's first child with the caption; it's a boy and his name; James – he could guess it was John's choice because James was one of the alias he used to use. And then James was one, it was his second birthday… And Donna – Rose and John welcomed their second child; Donna. Life continues in the pages loads of laughter and some tears and Donna was three – Jack came into the picture – the third child. Then Jack was two; Peter was born and then Peter was two, Michael joined the picture.

The Doctor looked through the picture of blond and brunette children running about, their parents laughing and then it was time for James to marry, Jack was next and then Donna, Peter found his better half and Michael married a Martha. Then the pictures of a family that grew into family of seven grew even more with grandchildren; Jack had two boys (Jack Jr and Steven) and a girl (Susan), Donna had two girls (Amelia and Clara), James had four boys (Benjamin, Alistair, Harry and William), Peter found himself with six boys (Christopher, Samuel, Wilfred, Jackson, Jamie and Justin) and Michael was happy with three boys (Christopher, David and Matthew) and a girl (Leian).

The life goes on in pictures that had been immortalized. Jack's children grew up and it was their turn to marry, Donna's followed, so were Peter's James's and Michael's. It was then the time of their children. The Doctor traced the picture and the names written on each. There was 'Lydia turning two', 'Suzanne's first steps' and many more.

"My Grandfather was Michael Smith-Tyler," Rose said when The Doctor finally reached a picture of a family laughing at the arrival of a young girl; Rose.

"Mickey," The Doctor chuckled, amused at the idea of Rose calling one of her children Michael, reminding him of Mickey Mouse, Mickey Smith; an old friend, a very old friend.

"Yes, Grandmere did call him that when he was younger," Rose offered chuckling herself.

"She lived a full life," He said, closing the album slowly as he reached the last page of grown up children where Rose was no longer part of it, nor John, nor James, Jack, Donna – They were gone, long gone. And yet their memory remained so strongly with the ones they've left behind.

"She did, very well too,"

"I'm glad,"

Rose nodded, "Well then Doctor, I'm not sure which regeneration you are at, but – live well, please, that was all Grandmere had hoped for, the rest of your life, just try to be happy,"

The Doctor smiled, this time his heart felt lighter than it had been for centuries.

"Thank you, Rose Tyler," Though he knew it was not his Rose he was thanking, but – it was not her ghost her was facing either. Rosie Tyler was different; still, he had to say it – even for the last time. He had to thank the person named Rose Tyler who had made him better and Rosie who held her image gave him that chance he never thought he would ever get.

Rosie, knowing full well what the Doctor's thanks meant didn't correct him. She simply nodded and walked into his personal space before pulling him into a hug.

"Goodbye, Doctor," She said ever so softly, letting the Doctor have that final goodbye he never get to hear his Rose Tyler said.

And he returned her embrace, missing the scent of which uniquely Rose and was not passed to Rosie and whisper quietly, for the last time, "Goodbye, Rose Tyler,"

When he entered the TARDIS again, he smiled, placed the album down on a chair and walked up to the console. "Come on now, old girl," He whispered patting in the edge lightly.

It was clear that the man who arrived at the beach and the one leaving it was not the same, for when the Doctor pressed the buttons to activate the old blue box and she started to wheeze, the girl with the face of the woman he loved stood on the beach with a smile, waving at the box as it disappeared.

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This was inspired by a conversation I had with heckyeahtenrose on instagram. I thought I'd just write it down and see how it feels. In a way, I feel like I need this closure for myself more than for anyone else. I want the Doctor to come back and I never really did see him running into his Rose again. So, it was her Great-granddaughter; Rose and she gave him a goodbye of which he denied himself a thousand years ago and she gave him happiness by letting him know – His Rose was happy and she was better by knowing him. It might be foolish, but, I always envisioned the last regeneration of the Doctor will always return to Bad Wolf Bay. This is his goodbye that he never got to say, I'm just giving it to him. And the girl he loves, he had to know she was happy.

And I just might write an Eleven/River fic for the hell of it. But, for now, I am contented to write just this one because I wanted to write it for a while now.

It was snowing the day he said his first hello and last goodbye to her. And she didn't even know it and let him slip away.


End file.
